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This year represents a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the concept that someone could suddenly stop communication with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, finding a partner has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes pointless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Generation Z, a generation who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted assault on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their millennial elders could ever fathom. And so their dating glossary has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive guide to the words this generation is using to discuss love, sex and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, romance's ideal is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reaction is inquisitive or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This signifies choosing someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A date where two people connect while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do budget-friendly dating in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes pairs who opt out of having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of acting aloof: utilizing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks suggesting a prospective partner is not right. Examples include calling their exes crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions validate your choice to pursue a partner. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and frequently trivial turnoffs that immediately extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic act.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {