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We've been close companions for more than 20 years, who has overcome several obstacles, her resilience is commendable. But, she's repeatedly blindsided in relationships. Her spouse left her, which came as a massive blow. A lot of her friends vanished at that point, as they were focused solely on her husband. It shocked her. She put in more effort in our friendship, probably grasped more acutely the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, several in her circle have disappeared without her being knowing the cause. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she was very skilled at her work, her exit happened not understanding what had changed.

Present Situation

Lately, we have each stepped back from work leading to more each other more, but I am finding the part I play in our friendship is to listen. I introduce discussion points only for her to redirect them to what interests her. Regarding political views, she expresses strong opinions. I try to suggest verifying facts and alternate views.

She's been arranging a vacation abroad I have traveled to many times and lived in for a while. My intention was to share personal experiences, however, my input unappreciated. She essentially only wanted validation of her choices. I recently come back from four weeks there she hopes to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Weighing the Options

I don't want to act as a friend that walks away without explanation, yet I doubt she will ever grasp the impact of how she acts on how I feel about myself. At this point, I find myself in pulling back. What should I do?

Possible Paths

It's possible to end things abruptly, however, that approach is not often the peaceful resolution we hope for. But confrontation with a view to a solution takes courage and willingness from both people.

Professional advice indicates using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one is to state how things go during your discussions. It should be based on facts and basically what a recording device would replay. Step two is to express how this makes you feel. This allows for no argument on this point. What you feel are valid, after all. Step three is to ask ways you together will alter the pattern between you."

Consider your friend has her own side, so you need to be prepared to hear that. A helpful technique involves stating to the other person:

"Now you talk and I'm going to remain silent for half an hour."

It's wildly effective for promoting better communication.

Final Thoughts

Your friend might reject your concerns, for those who have a self-protecting mindset: they rely on a story regarding their experiences they won't release as it feels essential depends upon it being the only thing familiar to them. It's tough as there is no clear path with these people, just dead ends. But she may initially present this way before reflecting about what you've said. And should a resolution isn't found a resolution, it provides closure from having been truthful.